A year and a half ago I decided it was time.
It was time for me to step out of society norms and be my own person.
I had been chained down for too long.
I was sick of listening to everything the man said.
I had enough.
It was time to cut the cord and become a true millennial.
Before we move on, let’s be completely transparent. The only reason I ditched cable was because my now wife did not want to pay the astronomical bills Xfinity was charging for cable. I was fine with that. I was sick and tired of Xfinity giving me the run around time and time again. I think every person reading this understands Xfinity is a company run in the 7th layer of hell employing human beings who prefer torture as a line of work.
I knew that streaming services were going to be the way we consume content in the near future so I started my search for which service I was going to use. I did plenty of research by reading 3 articles online and decided to go with Sling. I knew no one who had done such a brave thing as cutting the cord so one could say I was a trailblazer throughout my friend group. I didn’t consider myself one but people were calling me that. It’s true.
I signed up for Sling and things were great. I was paying $50 a month to watch all the channels I wanted, this was fantastic. The wife got her Bravo so she could watch her 8 different seasons of Housewives, Below Deck, Southern Charm, Mexican Dynasties, and every other show on that channel. I know there is a running joke about Bravo and the undying love women show for the network but is truly absurd. I know the opposite sex probably thinks watching sports for 10+ hours straight is lunacy but I think starting a reality show from season 1 that aired 5 years ago could qualify you for an insane asylum.
As you can see, entirely too much Bravo is watched in my household. Back to the lecture at hand, Sling. Everything was going great the first day or so. I then realized a major glitch that no one had warned me about. TV was about 3 minutes behind the rest of the world. This is something I should have realized given it is a streaming service but a lot of the times my brain does not function correctly. This became a problem as I am severely addicted to Twitter. I enjoy following along while the game goes on. It makes me feel like I am at the bar with my internet friends instead of watching at home by myself in my boxers. Whatever, I learned to deal with this.
The next issue, the on demand section sucks. It has all the content you want but sometimes you can’t fast forward when watching on demand. You can’t pause. You are basically watching a live TV version of a show that has already happened. This started to drive me insane.
Finally, there was a straw that broke the camel’s back. I was gearing up to watch a rare, great Thursday Night Football matchup. I have players on each side of the ball on each of my fantasy teams so I was gearing up to have myself a doozy of a Thursday night. The pregame show is ending and the game is about to start. The clock strikes 7:20pm CST and the screen goes blank. I break into an absolute frenzy. My technological brain kicks in and I know exactly how to fix this. Turn the TV on and off, everyone IT genius knows that is how everything gets fixed. TV comes back on, I select Sling, and I get an error I simply cannot believe. “Sling is currently in contract negotiations with Fox, we apologize for this inconvenience. We will do our best to get this channel up and running in the near future”.
I am speechless.
Becoming a cord cutting millennial has failed me. That is it I have had enough.
So what do I do? I cancel my Sling subscription.
I am now a proud subscriber to YouTube TV. Stay tuned for my second edition of this article with the next streaming service inevitably lets me down.