What Team Do We Want On Hard Knocks?

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Football is over. There is now a large void in our lives. Sundays are no longer filled with 10 hour couch sessions. Instead they are filled with the errands and chores that you have been putting off for months. You are now forced to watch Real Housewives and Vanderpump Rules because your significant other dealt with you for months while you screamed at Todd Gurley for not running into the end zone.

There are other sports to watch but it just isn’t the same. College basketball is amping up, soon enough conference tournaments and March Madness will be here. The NBA drama is still around but the excitement on the court won’t come until playoff time. Pitchers and catchers report this week but we are still over a month away from real games. By that time Bryce Harper and Manny Machado might be on a team, probably not though.

In the meantime, we can discuss football. There is not a whole lot of exciting things going on this offseason if you are a Bears fan. In years past we have been able to decipher every mock draft known to man. We tried to figure out who made most sense in free agency financially. Most importantly, we did what we do best as sports fans and that is play armchair GM. There is no better GM than the average sports fan. That is fact. The Bears do not have a draft pick until the 3rd round this year and almost all of their starters will be back next season. I guess I will take a boring offseason to be good. I guess.

Let’s get to Hard Knocks. This year there are 5 teams that are eligible for one of the greatest shows on television. They are:

  • Lions
  • Raiders
  • Giants
  • 49ers
  • Redskins

Not the most exciting of teams if you ask me. You may be wondering, well how did they pick those teams? Good news folks, I have that answer for you. I would never leave you hanging, you know that. A team can’t be selected if it was in the playoffs either of the last two seasons, if it has a first-year head coach, or if it has been on the program at any point in the last 10 years. Now the question remains, who do we want to see on the show this season?

Detroit Lions

This would be the absolute worst choice. Matt Patricia is already lobbying for the Raiders to be the choice. He wants nothing to do with the show. Well good news Matt, we want nothing to do with your team on the show as well. The only upside is we would get to see Matthew Stafford’s smokeshow wife. That is not enough for me to want the pitiful Lions on my TV screen more than they need to be.

Oakland Raiders

Jon Gruden puts asses in the seats. He became one of the most beloved announcers during his tenure on Monday Night Football. The quotes that would come out of this would be pure gold. We would also get to see Mark Davis in action, what a treat it would be to watch those two interact. Another nice storyline, the Raiders have three 1st round picks in this upcoming draft. Lastly, there is one main reason the Raiders should be chosen: Marshawn Lynch. End of argument

New York Giants

Eli Manning is unintentionally hilarious. Odell Beckham Jr. is probably lobbying for the Giants to get on this season. There is no one in the NFL that loves the camera more than Odell. The Giants will most likely be drafting a quarterback with the #6 overall pick. A high profile, young quarterback to compete with good ol’ Eli. Sign me up.

San Francisco 49ers

If Antonio Brown gets traded to the 49ers then this is an absolute must. He is in absolute lunatic and demands the attention of every human being on Earth at all times. Jimmy G coming back from injury would be fun to watch. John Lynch is one of the brightest up and coming GMs in football. The only downside is Richard Sherman will for sure interject himself into every story. The less Richard Sherman the better nowadays.

Washington Redskins

I have virtually nothing to say about the Redskins. They are one of the most embarrassing franchises in all of sports. I want no part of them on Hard Knocks. That is all.

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