Did Smartphones Ruin The Bar Argument?


Smartphones are one of the greatest innovations in the modern day. Let me get that out there before I bash them to smithereens. They provide endless entertainment for us whenever we would like. You can essentially never be bored as long as you have that wonderful piece of equipment with a more than 15% battery in your pocket.  Anything under 15% and the world is put on high alert.

I am addicted to my phone, there is no doubt about that. Like most Americans, I spend entirely too much time on it. I can’t leave home without it. It is constantly within arms reach. I realize this is a problem of its own but that deserves a 1,000 word blog. I could go on and on about my crippling Twitter addiction.

Smartphones, while great, also are a detriment. As I just mentioned, being on your phone as much as I am sometimes causes strain in relationships. I don’t know why I said sometimes, it causes strain in relationships. Period. It also has ruined any sort of argument/banter among friends. Gone are the days when collectively 5 drunk guys try to remember who was the 5th pick in the 2010 NBA draft. The answer is DeMarcus Cousins. The ladies also suffer from this. I am sure they sit around the bar debating if Britney Spears won more Grammys than Christina Aguilera. The answer is yes because Britney Spears is the queen.

I sound like an old man yelling at the clouds but having those types of discussions are a great time. I would much rather debate for hours on end without an actual answer until someone has access to a computer. Debates nowadays are over as fast as someone with unlimited data pops open google. We all know us poors on limited data can’t afford to google something while off wifi.

To continue sounding like the old geyser that I am, there should be bars that do not allow phones at all. They should have baskets at the front door like you are entering Derek Jeter’s home. Toss the phone in there, don’t focus so much on your snap story, and have hour long discussions about where Julian Edelman went to college. Kent State, the answer is Kent State.

Lastly, I think smartphones have made sports arguments become even more subbjective. As I have stated throughout this, it is very easy to look up numbers nowadays and as Michael Smith will tell you “numbers never lie”. Sports arguments have been whittled down to arguing semantics. In the past 6 months alone, I have had arguments on whether Mitch Trubisky needs better form in terms of sliding, if Julio Jones was a decoy, if Aaron Rodgers actually is just a shitty person masked by good stats, the list goes on and on and on. You could say these arguments would happen with or without smartphones but I would like to think they would be a bit less subjective.

I cannot complain too much. Sports in general is the reason majority of males have a decent amount of friends. It is the main topic of conversation for almost every guy friend group. Without sports, we would be forced to talk about real life issues instead of hiding our true emotions. That wouldn’t be manly at all.

Next time you are out at a bar with your friends, have an argument where no one takes out their phone to look something up. I guarantee the conversation will go on much longer than it should and it also will be a lot more enjoyable.

Oh and don’t order the round of shots. No one likes that guy past the age of 25.

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