I get it, every single website/blog/person with a voice ranks Thanksgiving foods. I know this is not an original idea. No one knows my rankings though. People come to Stay Tuned Folks! to get the opinion of Tin Tidwell. A man of many opinions I am. I have some thoughts on Thanksgiving food, shocking I know.
I am a big fan of food therefore I am a big fan of Thanksgiving. I eat a lot of food. My family is often appalled by the amount of food I shove down my gullet. Thanksgiving food has always been tough for me to rank since I basically put everything on one fork and eat it in one bite. The sides are more of a dressing than a separate food group.
This is by far the most important piece of Thanksgiving. Without the big ol’ bird, there is no Thanksgiving. There is not much more to say about the turkey. I love turkey. I love turkey sandwiches. It has always been very high on my list of meats. This is not a popular opinion but the turkey takes the top spot.
The garnish of the entire Thanksgiving meal. The gravy allows everything to slide down your throat with ease. Think about trying to eat Thanksgiving dinner without gravy, I can feel the turkey getting stuck in my throat. If the turkey is the Kris Bryant of Thanksgiving then the gravy is the Anthony Rizzo. The Cubs are not World Series Champions without their MVP but someone has to keep that entire team together. Anthony Rizzo and gravy. Those two bring everything together. Who would have thought I would be comparing gravy to Anthony Rizzo? Never know what you’re gonna get here folks!
Question for the masses, why do we as a society only eat stuffing one day of the year? It is a damn shame that this wonderful schmorgus board of goodness only gets enjoyed once a year. Stuffing is fantastic and should be enjoyed more often. End of story.
I am Irish, I have been eating potatoes at every meal for majority of my life. The mashed potatoes also kind of work as the glue for all of the above on my fork for each bite. The stuffing can hold its own but mashed potatoes really make sure everything stays as one cohesive unit on its trip into flavortown.
Lastly, if you do not take your roll and use it as a Zamboni at the end of your meal then you are doing Thanksgiving completely wrong.
That is all I am going to rank. Every single bite is all of the above on one fork. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Over and over and over and over. That is all I need on Thanksgiving and I am one happy man. Enjoy your turkey day folks and most importantly, bear down.
P.S. Apple pie is the go to pie choice for dessert. Pumpkin pie is trash.
P.P.S. Cranberry sauce needs to have the ribs from the metal cylinder left on it. Please do not bring around some fancy version. Give me the slurp out of the can and nothing more.