I am going to be honest with you guys because that is what we are here at Stay Tuned Folks! I have been trying to think of something to write about for days now. I have come up with virtually nothing. I started writing a blog about the lack of fantasy football relevance in Thursday Night Football games only to realize I was wrong. I then started to write a blog about writers block itself only to realize I had about two sentences worth of material.
I looked around my desk to see if there was anything in this god forsaken jail cell they call a cubical that I could write about. I am sure nobody cares about my actual job involving pulling reports, running trainings on software, and making sure my customer is beyond happy with their product! I continued to look only to find the apple I eat every single day at 4 o’clock sitting on my desk. Yes, I eat an apple every single day at 4 o’clock. I am a creature of habit and as we all know an apple away keeps the doctor away. I have not been to the doctor in years and it has absolutely nothing to do with apples. I can guarantee you that.
With summer just about coming to a close, fruit becomes dormant as well. It still make an appearance every now and then, but let’s be honest here fruit shines in the summer. I am going to keep this to your standard fruits and give you guys the 5 top dogs.
A tale as old as time, the orange. First off, name another fruit that you can’t rhyme a word with. That alone gets this fruit on the list. It brings you back to a simpler time. Orange slices were a staple after soccer games. Many of you probably drank orange juice with breakfast as a child. Many of you basics probably slam 17 mimosas with your ladies at brunch on the weekends. Not to mention, the clementine comes from the orange family. Clementines can go toe to toe with any fruit out there.
We get it, they’re shaped like a penis. You can’t eat one in public without thinking you are performing a sexual act. Get over it. Bananas get overlooked in the fruit game. Sure, they are only good for a hot second before they become stale and mush. A good banana with some peanut butter, oh mama. Toss some in a smoothie. Versatility like you read about!
One of the more seductive fruits in the game. Probably would be the most if it weren’t for chocolate strawberries. I do not discriminate when it comes to grapes. Green, purple, do not care. They are both delicious. Plus, they create wine. Who doesn’t like wine? The fake grapes also create a wonderful little centerpiece. Feminine I know but we are trying to appeal to the masses guys.
I would say the apple is by far the most notable fruit. It used to be customary to bring your teacher an apple on the first day of school. What a weird tradition that used to be. “Hi Mrs. Smith, I brought you a fresh gala apple. I am so excited for school!” Adam and Eve are always seen in the Garden of Eden with apples around them. One a day keeps the doctor away. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree is a saying your parents love to use. Not to mention, they are actually delicious. A ripe apple is unbelievable. Don’t believe me? Next time you are the grocery store go buy a honeycrisp apple. If you don’t think that tastes good then you need to get your taste buds checked out.
I cannot say enough about this fruit. I absolutely love pineapple. I ate an entire pineapple in one sitting once. I do not recommend doing that, I had a cold sore for a week after that. They are so refreshing. For you males out there, there is a rumor about pineapples about something you do often. Google that, we are trying to keep this PG guys. Also, none of these other songs have today’s rappers making hit jams about them. I will send you guys out with this jam….ay ay ay ay ay ay ay.
P.S. I hate watermelon so don’t come at me with that nonsense. Hot take alert!!!
P.P.S. I despise almost all vegetables so do not plan on seeing a post for those god forsaken plants.