On Saturday, hundreds of thousands of people across the country will wake up with a smile on their face. Fresh off a night of sleep, the first thing that will enter their body will be a nice, cold Guiness. Irish jigs will be done all over the world. Everyone will be celebrating the fact that they are Irish or will be pretending they are. Meanwhile, the Italians will be very bitter that there isn’t this big of a celebration for St. Joseph’s Day. My recommendation to those Italians, start a revolution that makes that day about drinking.
St. Patrick’s Day is the Christmas of drinking.
I will hear your argument that 4th of July is more of a drinking holiday. The one difference is 4th of July usually has a lot of other stuff going on. People are at lakehouses, they are out grilling with friends, and fireworks are a vital part of that holiday. Drinking plays a large part in the 4th of July but it is not the only part.
St. Patrick’s Day is all about drinking. When you ask someone their plans for St. Patrick’s Day you may as well just ask them where they are drinking that day. 13 MILLION pints of Guiness will be consumed on St. Patrick’s Day. 13 MILLION. That is a lot of beer. It is a day of hope. Spring is upon us. Everyone is in a good mood. Everyone is drunk by 1 PM. The spirits are high. Life is good. It also marks the start of day drinking season in my opinion. After this day, you can find people day drinking pretty much every weekend. The weather will turn to sunshine and summer is upon us.
It is our duty as Americans to honor the Irish the only way they want to be honored. Make sure you get plenty of rest tonight, enjoy your drinking Christmas folks. I know here in Chicago we all will, let me send you out with a sweet video of the dying of the Chicago River.