Constant Bad Breath or Body Odor?


Pretty slow day for sports and pop culture story so we are going to do a good old fashioned hypothetical.  Although this is a disgusting topic, you will thank me later because it could lead to an hour long debate with your coworker.  An hour debating bad breath vs. body order is better than an hour making cold calls. You are very welcome in advance.

Let’s dip right into this here question: Would you rather have constant bad breath or constant body odor?

Disgusting, repulsive, nauseating, yes all of those adjectives would suffice when describing this question.  To further clarify, you cannot chew any sort of gum or put on any sort of deodorant.  You will be allowed to wash yourself/brush your teeth but these will not affect the horrid smells coming from your being. Which would you rather be forced to live with, bad breath or body odor?


Bad breath is something I think most people deal with on a regular basis.  The biggest pro to this choice would be that this would only affect you when speaking to people.  I also think there are a couple ways around this one.  First off, you could learn how to talk while breathing in.  Try it right now, it isn’t easy but I think you could get the hang of speaking to people while breathing in.  Second, you could learn sign language or simply never speak again.  I know this one is a little bit far fetched but hear me out.  If you learned sign language you could now communicate with an entire sector of human beings you never could before.  Boom, point for branching out.  Nowadays most people do not like to speak to each other anyways, most communication is done via text/email.  You no longer look like the asshole who doesn’t want to talk, you just do it all virtually.

The gigantic downside would be with your significant other.  You kind of have to speak with them and odds are you will be extremely close to their face at times when speaking to them. Cuddling folks, I am talking a good old fashioned cuddle.  You are gonna be pretty close to the Mrs. when you are cuddling and I don’t know how any human could tolerate bad breath that close to their face.  I am not going to get into the whole kissing aspect of this because that is just disgusting. Kissing someone with bad breath is disgusting, not kissing in general. All for kissing, kiss away folks.


While I found a couple ways around bad breath that I think could work, I could not think of a single way to get around body odor. Eventually people get used to smells around them so maybe someone would get used to the awful stench coming from you?  This one is just too tough to deal with, you affect so many more people.  Every single instance of your life, you are instantly a topic of conversation for the worst reason.  The stench of body odor also as whole is just worse than the stench of bad breath.  It is absolutely nauseating.  I can’t even imagine being hungover and smelling yourself.  You would throw up instantly every single time and it would never get better.

Maybe you could hide the stench by wearing thicker clothes? In that case though, you would then begin to sweat which in turn would probably make it even worse.  Yea, I don’t know how you could even begin to deal with this.  My mind is made up here, you have to go with bad breath.  I will hang up and listen to your guys thoughts.

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