I just want to reiterate that headline…
Fantasy Football, We Love You.
We being all sports obsessed males seriously love you fantasy football.
Fantasy football is something that has pretty much kept football alive the past few years. While players are off beating their wives and telling police officers they are going to nut in their wife’s eye, we simply do not care about that. As long as you can provide me with 135 yards and 2 touchdowns on Sunday then we don’t really give a shit what you do any other day of the week.
Fantasy football is much more than just creating some fake team and rooting for your players. You see there is the disconnect between the obsessed and the people who really don’t understand why there are the obsessed. People do not get why we like to sit around on the couch for 3 hours on Thursday, 10 hours on Sunday, 3 hours on Monday, and for a few weeks of the year 3 plus hours on Saturday too! They really don’t understand why we get so excited when the Dolphins score a touchdown with 1:00 left in the game. I’ll give you a hint, I have Jarvis Landry and he just got me 6+ points baby!!
You see it is about much more than the players, as the meme in this post shows. It is about proving to your friends that you know more about sports than they do. Which at the base of most males is all we really set out to do on this Earth. All we want to do is know more about sports than our friends and then have an outlet to prove that. This is that outlet. You spend months on end prepping for this, scouring the waiver wire to hit on that running back that is going to change your season. Everyone wants to find that Alvin Kamara, hence the reason we need to pay attention 24/7 for months. If we don’t pay attention, someone else has the opportunity to show they know more about sports than me. I simply cannot live in a world like that, I am sorry honey I know you would rather go to Crate & Barrel but I need to watch this Jets-Browns game at 3:05 because I have Robby Anderson and I need 12 points from him.
This is one of the few ways us normal everyday schmucks can feel some sort of rush in this life. Most of us spend all day punching the clock at our job, there really is nothing that gets the blood flowing. Sure, our team’s can sometimes have a great game or a great season with an unforgettable playoff run. Sure, we can actually gamble on games but the only real rooting reason for that is monetary. There really is no personal rooting interest in a game where you decided to lay moneyline on an underdog. There is no real rush like your player scoring a long touchdown. It is one of the most exhilarating feelings a late 20 year old male can feel. The feeling of that close victory over your chump friend you have been talking trash to all week is is second to none.
On the flip side, the feeling of defeat is a deafening as it gets. You talk trash all week, but you always get scared to talk trash. Most of us know about the fantasy gods, we know it’s thin line when it comes to trash talking and making the gods angry. The last thing any diehard fantasy player wants to do is piss off the fantasy gods. The feeling of losing in the playoffs and fantasy football being yanked away from you is a feeling I cannot even explain. This is a team you have invested so much time and effort in building up, you think you have created the team that will finally win it all.
There is one factor that will always keep you on your toes, regardless of how good your team is. That factor is luck. You see there is a lot of luck involved in fantasy football. Sure, majority of the time if you are good at fantasy you will make the playoffs and likely end up in the final four most years. Luck will knock you down quicker than anything, literally anything can happen in any given week in fantasy football. That is another reason we love it, you truly never know what is going to happen. You could be riding high, undefeated season going into the championship and Antonio Brown could get knocked out in the 1st quarter. Your stallion receiver you were expecting 20+ out of, now has a whopping 1.6 points and he is out for the rest of the game.
While the money aspect of all of it is nice, fantasy football is and always will be about pride. It will be about proving your worth to your friends and then shoving it down their throats when you come out on the other side victorious. If you do lose though, don’t be a poor sport and run away from the criticism. No one likes that guy, don’t be that guy.
Fantasy Football, from all middle aged men across the country. We sincerely do love you and miss you. We will see you next summer, until then enjoy your offseason ol pal.