The Art of the Irish Goodbye


We have all been there, you now have been at the party you didn’t want to be at in the first place for 4 hours.  You have had the same conversation with 18 different people and you really don’t care about Susie’s problems with Jerry in Accounting anymore.  You have had more than enough to drink and it is time to get the fuck out of there.

But how on Earth are you going to go about doing this without having to say goodbye to the 18 different people who told you what they had for lunch yesterday?

In enters the greatest tactic ever created…the Irish Goodbye.

Now, the Irish Goodbye when performed correctly is by far the greatest way to leave anywhere.  If performed poorly though, you now look like the asshole who just left without saying goodbye to a single human being.  I don’t understand why anyone gives a fuck if you say goodbye to them in 2018 but I digress.

There is one main key here that kind of takes away from the whole leaving without saying goodbye to anyone.  You absolutely NEED to say goodbye to the person who’s party it is. Go up to them and say “Hey man, having a blast.  What a party!” They then will look at you and say are you leaving?  This next answer is key, ALWAYS answer “No, no, no not yet!”

Are you lying to them? Technically not, you’re not leaving right this second, just in like 33 seconds.

Once that has been completed, make a quick trip to the bathroom and then walk straight out the door.  Welcome to freedom, now order up some Dominoes for when you get home you drunken sailor you.

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